One of the fourteen points of Quantum Leap Thinking is Create Partnership. I believe in partnership with every fiber of my being. But, with partnership, comes a commitment to engage that partnership through the lens of specific values.  This definition of partnership includes respecting the dignity of the individual, fairness, honesty, and compassion. If any of these values are absent, a skewed and twisted form of partnership exists, a partnership in name only. A partnership is always a relationship but a relationship is not necessary a partnership. However, a relationship always has the potential of a becoming a partnership.  Therefore, partnership, by this definition, creates a high quality of life for the individuals involved. In order to achieve the highest quality of life, whether it is a marriage, friendship or business relationship, the values of a true partnership must be realized. Can all of these relationships exist without a partnership? Yes, many do. Do I want to be involved? Not if I can help it. In fact, I will do everything I can to avoid being in any relationship which suppresses honest and open communication, is manipulative, lacks respect, creates a great deal of stress and, in general, aggravates the heck out of me.

The success of my business is based solely on the relationships I have with my customers. If they stop wanting to hire me or do not recommend me, my career as a speaker and consultant is over. When my clients become my partners, I am almost assured of a rebooking or a positive recommendation.

So, here is the bottom line of what I feel about customers. You must do everything within the frame of integrity to serve the customer. You must give 100% to satisfying the customer. BUT, when you breach your own integrity, fire the customer.  Years ago, the beloved comedian, Red Skelton, gave me a definition of forgiveness that I will never forget. He said, "When a friend or acquaintance lies to me or betrays me, I forgive them. When a friend or acquaintance lies to me a second time, I forgive them. When a friend or acquaintance lies to me a third time, I burn a candle to that person's death. For me, that person no longer exists." What a powerful way of being!

So, to insure the quality of your life and of those in your organization, I have proposed a few guidelines for insuring your customers are your partners. This point-of-view is definitely not for the faint-of-heart. Ultimately it's up to you to decide what your quality of life is to be. Your business dealings comprise a large part of your waking hours. Why not make that time the best it can be?

1. Set the ground rules from the beginning. Dealing with customers is often like dealing with children. They will see how far they can push the limit. My wife has set certain standards for behavior within the walls of our home. If these standards or "rules" are broken, she politely, but firmly, informs and instructs to correct the unwanted behavior. She does it with love. But she does it. If the rules are set from the beginning, then everyone knows when the line is crossed. If you are starting a business, establish a vision statement that includes the qualities you want in your customer. To my knowledge this has never been done. But then, why not?

2. Train your employees. Obviously you have to train your people in the basics of customer service, how to deal with difficult customers and good communication skills. But, I'm talking about training your employees in living through an agreed upon set of values in the workplace. You must be completely confident that everyone is moving in the same direction before you take the bold stance of holding the customer to the same values as you hold your employees. If everyone is looking through the same lens, then you can be confident in your employee's judgment as to when the customer has crossed the line.

3. Be selective about your customers. Why are we selective about our employees and not our customers? Being selective is different from "targeting" your customer. One has to do with a profile of what products or services the customer needs from you, the other is directed at what kind of customer you want as a partner. Set up a list of standards you want in a customer based on the values in your vision statement. Take time to get to know your customers dreams and desires. You may want to create a questionnaire that your customer fills out. The more information and dialogue you have with your customer, the more direction you will have in determining if the customer is right for you.

4. Educate your customer. Have children ever made you really angry? You may judge them to be spoiled, crude or without manners. It certainly has happened to me. My first reaction is to verbalize my anger to the child. The truth is that it's not the fault of the child, it's the fault of the parents. The child simply reflects the beliefs, attitude, prejudices and assumptions of his or her parents. The child has not been educated in a proper and civilized way. We educate and train our employees. Why not educate and train the difficult customer?  A friend of mine who manages a credit union gave me an example that he has used with a difficult customer. He says, " We may not have the best rates, but we do have fun, give fabulous service and treat our employees with the greatest of respect.  Those are the rules we live by in our business. Now, we would love to have you as a customer, but you have to also play by those rules."

5. Always give your customer the benefit of the doubt. If the customer acts like a moron, maybe there is something else going on. Perhaps the customer has just had a spat with a spouse and is taking it out on you. Maybe the customer has just been ripped apart by his or her boss and is venting pent-up anger. That may explain the first, or even the second, negative encounter. From there on, it's up to you to decide if that is the relationship that you want. 

6. Walk in the customer's shoes. Even though we have the best of intentions, sometimes we miss the important details of customer service. We can't really walk in their shoes. So, yes, you have to assume the customer is always right. Maybe. The first time, and possibly the second time. Unless, of course, that customer is a complete, absolute, total, jerk. And then, you have to ask yourself the question, "How desperate for business am I?" Maybe you should burn your candle and fire the customer. The relationship you have with your employees and your customers reflects on the quality of your personal life.  Why not imagine it the very best it can be and take the action to make it so?