LETTING GO FOR SPRING
Letting go is a very big deal for most people and it is also one of the major skills to living an exceptional life. Letting go may mean cleaning out your closet, changing careers or releasing unrealistic dreams. But, perhaps one of the most difficult decisions you can make is to let go of another person.
We learn from others. We connect. We form partnerships. And then, sometimes, we out grow these relationships. We change, or others change. We stop learning, drift apart, or, perhaps, we are betrayed. Whatever the reason, a time might come when need to let go of someone.
The challenge is that letting go of another person is not always easy. That person’s presence may have become so familiar that you unconsciously fear a void in your life. So, because of the fear of letting go, you continue to allow another’s negativity to permeate your life even though the negative energy pulls you down and chips away at your joy. Or, maybe you just feel sorry for the other person or feel guilty about letting another person go.
The truth is: most people don’t even want to acknowledge this kind of negative situation and, if they do, the thought of telling the truth to someone is horrifying. So, they choose to have this energy-drainer remain in their lives.
I had a business relationship that caused me angst and discomfort for months. I didn’t want to dissolve this relationship because I wanted to avoid hurting his feelings. I justified his continuous fear-based choices. I turned a blind eye to dishonest behavior and deluded myself by believing that he would change, get past his fear and grow – until I couldn’t.
So, I had to make the choice: shut off, clean the slate and let go. I feel so very much lighter, as if a burden I didn’t even know I was carrying has disappeared.
It’s spring so you might want to take a moment and examine the relationships in your life and ponder the words of the advice columnist, Ann Landers, who wrote, “Hanging on to resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.”
James Mapes is the founder of Quantum Leap Thinking™, creator of The Transformational Coach™, expert on the psychology of “applied imagination,” best-selling author, highly acclaimed business speaker, consultant, seminar leader and personal excellence coach.