“Blame is fascinating - it shapes our lives. It can be a benign way of positioning ourselves, a gentle joust or banter, or it can be poisonous, hurtful or devastating for its victims. It can tear apart marriages and fracture work relationships. ...
STOP SHOOTING YOURSELF IN THE FOOT: Strategies and Tips’ This article is meant to recognize and eliminate self-sabotaging behavior. I been thinking and speaking with a great number of people about self-sabotaging behavior. To my amazement, almost everyone recognizes this negative trait in themselves but do not know how to ‘course correct’. ...
When I was first introduced to St. Thomas in the Caribbean, I was also presented with an activity or, non-activity, called “Liming.” I had no idea what it meant. “Perhaps,” I thought, “it is a culinary activity of some sort.” So, when I was asked if I wanted to go “Lime” for a while, I just said “yes.” Four hours later my friend asked me if I had a good time. “Of course,” I responded. By the way, I continued, “What does ‘Limin’ mean?” He laughed at my naivety. ...
I have bad news and good news. Bad news first: You CANNOT be happy ALL the time. Good news: You CAN increase your happiness ratio by embracing your emotions and transforming your thinking. Let’s explore what happiness means and why being constantly happy is a myth. ...
Some time ago I was hired to present a keynote and to develop and facilitate a series of half-day programs on leadership, communication, and the power of imagery to both mid-level and senior management. With laser-like intent, I laid the groundwork for what I considered the heart of motivation and passion for achievement in teams, communication, and the individual. At what I thought was the appropriate time, I asked the group a simple question on which I would base the entire program: “What is the vision of your company? No one raised his or her hand....
I’ve been pondering writing this article for some time. What has prevented me is every time I sit down to write, I have an immediate sensation of feeling frustrated which - makes me grumpy. Yes, grumpy. I hear people constantly complaining about their anxiety. I certainly understand this in our world today: COVID worries - to mask or not to mask - get vaccinated or not get vaccinated - work from home or at the office, people losing their homes, lack of food, raging forest fires, floods, and on it goes. However, these things are not necessarily what I feel grumpy about. I feel grumpy because there are so many tried and true mental tools available to help reduce anxiety and, many, many do not take advantage of it. ...
When you think of PTSD, (post-traumatic stress disorder) what comes to mind? The most common traumas that lead to PTSD are soldiers returning from war, firefighters, police, and sexual assault victims. Some who suffer divorce or loss of a loved one show signs of PTSD for years. After the recent hurricanes in St. Thomas (my second home), many of my friends have been dealing with PTSD....
When my book, Quantum Leap Thinking: An Owner’s Guide to the Mind was published in 1996, I hoped most individuals would conclude that we are all connected. I wanted people to understand that their actions, beliefs and values have a huge impact on family, community and business, and realize to embrace and live from positive values is of primary importance to live an exceptional life. Unfortunately, this has not come to pass, and divisiveness has taken its toll on even the closest of relationships. More than a decade of research went in to identifying the five major ‘Quantum Leap’ values that define and make up the fabric of living a life of love, joy, motivation, compassion, and service. ...
I feel like a mime lately. All the COVID-19 “air hugs” and using my hands more to be understood makes me feel a bit awkward. I also find myself raising my voice to penetrate the barrier of a mask. And, like many, I must give myself an extra mental energy boost to write or perform mundane chores around the house and office. There are the many who find their social anxiety increasing. I have worked with clients over the years who have enormous speaking and performing anxiety. ...
Two metaphors that are commonly used to describe life altering transitions that create massive disruptions are: 1. “Grey Wolves are circling.” This expression epitomizes the state of worry, anxiety and ruminating on the negative. The grey wolves often sneak up on us in the middle of the night. The Italians have a wonderful expression of how our lives get upended when we least expect it. “Lupus in Fabula” means “the wolf in a fairy tale. 2. “The Black Dog,” exemplifies the state of depression. Although it can be traced back to Shakespeare, Winston Churchill’s name frequently comes up as the originator of this metaphor. Churchill is quoted as having speculated that therapy might be helpful for him “if my black dog returns.” … “He seems quite away from me now – it is such a relief. All the colors come back into the picture.”...
In my lifetime, I never dreamed we would be slammed with five frightful international events: the battle with the Coronavirus pandemic, the rapid education of race, a widening political divide, a possible economic depression and a struggle for political realignment. How much uncertainty can an individual take before one turns in to, as Jimmy Buffett says, “a Fruitcake?” Uncertainty affects EVERYONE, but not everyone goes into a worrisome, depressive, fruitcake tailspin. I am gearing this article to those of you who are having a difficult time dealing with the uncertainty of one or more of these events. ...
You can either let the coronavirus destroy your emotional self with mind-numbing fear and inaction or- you can use your isolation to create a healing and nurturing space for creativity and peace. This blog was inspired by so many who feel totally helpless and frozen to inaction. I have observed that a person’s personal space - in their home or office - reflects what goes on inside their mind, their subconscious and conscious beliefs. And this may be a scary thought! ...
Do you set boundaries for your family, personal and business relationships? Or, are you stuck in guilt when you even consider this question? In IMAGINE THAT! Igniting Your Brain for Creativity and Peak Performance (Chapter 8), I explore “Rules for Relationships.” However, my interest in boundaries has been reignited with Harry and Meghan changing the rules in the Royal Family. Their courage is admirable. Despite guilt, others’ expectations and pressure, they had to confront and break century old rules of rigid family structure in order to lay the foundation for the life they truly want, the life THEY consider best for them and their child....
he need for a primary, loving relationship touches the very center of what it means to be human; it demands of us the courage to grow, stretch, learn and be vulnerable. It is only when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable that we become open to giving and receiving love and help honestly....
“Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinion of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth.” —KATHERINE MANSFIELD, British short-story writer I invite you to watch this three-minute video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/8oH2me1GoQE There......
“Personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about ‘me’.” -Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements In today’s world, I see two “mental plagues” taking a massive emotional toll on multitudes of people.......
Please watch is two-minute clip before you read the article: https://youtu.be/JpCrCJL26ic I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the......
“There are two types of pain you will go through in life: the pain of discipline and the pain of regret. Discipline weighs ounces, while regret weighs tons.” -Jim Rohn Do you have regrets? If you are human, you do. Perhaps you......
Love is the medicine for the sickness of mankind. We can live if we have love. —DR. KARL MENNINGER, American psychiatrist Think about the books and poetry you have read, and the movies and television programs you have seen. What force is almost always......
“As a life design coach, I am passionate about changing lives . . . I’ve learned through my own self-discovery work that sharing authentically is the best way to make a real difference in others’ lives.” -Julie Reisler, Get a PhD in YOU ......
Sow a thought, reap an act; Sow an act, reap a habit; Sow a habit, reap a character; Sow a character, reap a destiny. –Anonymous When my doctor told me, “You need heart surgery immediately,” I thought it was the end. Of course, he......
It never fails that when the holiday season rolls around, stress and anxiety rear their ugly head. Apply these 9 strategies and keep your sanity:...
I have observed that a person’s personal space - in their home or office - is a reflection of what goes on inside their mind, their subconscious and conscious beliefs. And this may be a scary thought!...
“Leadership is hard to define, and good leadership even harder. But if you can get people to follow you to the ends of the earth, you are a great leader.” — Indra Nooyi, CEO, PepsiCo How would you define love? How would you......
There is truth in a home-grown homily from my childhood: "Not only can you not see the forest for the trees, but you can't see the tree because your nose is stuck so far into a knothole." This says it all when it comes to having the inability or unwillingness to change perspective. ...
“Why would I hire a life coach? I’m intelligent, aware, strong-willed and can make my own decisions without someone telling what to do. It wouldn’t work for me.” Those three sentences sum up the reason many people refuse to seek out a life coach. After more than three decades of coaching, I have heard every excuse in the world. Most stem from misinformation but mostly from fear. ...
Are you creative? Of course you are. Our brains are wired to survive and – to survive – you must be creative. Although you might not define the numerous acts you perform throughout the day as “creative acts,” they are. Putting ingredients together......
The imagination is like a rambunctious, slightly crazy, often out-of-control ‘Wild Child’ who can lose its focus in the blink of an eye. ...
After going through a list in my mind of what to write to help people thrive in the New Year, I settled on an out-of-the-box subject - Magical Thinking. Thank goodness for magical thinking. What would we do without the possibilities of miracles? ...
More than two decades ago, Paul Newman had a vision of possibility with no idea how to make it a reality. As all great visions begin, he started with a “What if…” question. What if children with serious illnesses had a chance to just be children and have fun in a safe and nurturing environment? ...
Communication is the glue that holds relationships together. So, the question is - Do you believe that you communicate often enough and in the right way to create and sustain positive relationships in all areas of your life? ...
Some time ago I was hired to present a keynote and to develop and facilitate a series of half-day programs on leadership, communication and the power of imagery to both mid-level and senior management of a large oil company....
If I guaranteed you would lower your anxiety, calm your mind, renew, recharge, think more clearly, reduce your fear response and enhance your creativity – just by investing two five-minute periods of time, twice-a-day - to meditate - would you commit to do it? ...
Do you think fun is frivolous? If so, perhaps you should think again. ...
Full discloser: I actually love the holiday season. Unfortunately, this does not hold true for everyone. In fact, I have been asked on numerous occasions to provide strategies for those who find the whole season quite stressful. ...
Sometimes there is a huge payoff when I do something that propels me out of my comfort zone. You might interpret this act as taking a huge risk, like jumping out of a plane, walking a high wire or telling your boss that he, or she, is wrong. In my case, it was playing a game. ...
If you are going to make a difference in today’s world, be productive and make a comfortable income, you will have to learn how bring value to other people. To do that, you must become thoroughly familiar with the steps to harness your imagination, explode creativity and generate an idea....
The price of success comes from dedication, hard work, unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen....
Here’s to the dreamers, visionaries and risk takers! Here’s to the entrepreneurs! ...
What if there was a drug that could cure a disease or heal an ailment without any side- effects? What if that same drug could speed recovery from an illness or operation, inhibit infection, reduce bleeding, calm inflammation, control pain, help asthmatics breathe easily, or relieve depression? The drug does exist....
One of my favorite words in the English language is ‘creativity’ and one of my least favorite is – ‘sacrifice’. Creativity resonates as full of possibility, adventure and limitless imagination....
Text messaging cell phones and computers means more demands for instant responses in communication. The Web raises the bar for marketing excellence and puts constant pressure on business to grab the customer before the competition. The flattening of the world pushes industry to operate 24/7....
I love to learn and I love to teach. This article is about a very simple concept. Science shows that we are happiest when we are self-directed, doing what we love and working with others....
Imagine that you have a magic remote control so that - when life got too overwhelming or you needed to replenish your energy - you could simply push the “pause” button....
Here we are galloping towards Christmas, and I am still contemplating what life lessons I learned from being in the thick of hurricane Sandy and how these lessons can be applied to business - as well as life in general. What held me back from writing this article was the complete devastation that many people suffered from Sandy, including loss of all ...
The word “imagination” has always resonated deep within my soul. In my imagination, I can go anywhere, be anyone and accomplish anything....
There are certain subjects that are ubiquitous in the field of human potential and leadership. But there is one subject that has, unfortunately, been both underrated and neglected - the profound power of ritual. ...
Psychologists have always operated on the principle that we are fairly rational human beings....
Reader warning: The article you are about to read contains some strange, odd and unsettling insights but, contained within this cautionary tale are a number of lessons. ...
Defining passion can be tricky, playing with your mind. When you think of passion, you may have images of someone enthusiastically pursuing a goal, preaching a sermon or having a strong sexual desire for someone. ...
What if it was possible to enhance your view of any situation at any time? It is. All it requires of you is to learn and practice a very simple skill. ...
Blockbuster, Eastman Kodak, and Borders - what do they all have in common? All these business giants failed, but why? Like many analysts, you could come up with a number of logical reasons for their plight - they did not create new products that kept them competitive, failed to embrace the power of the Internet or were not willing to take bigger risks. But, the bottom line is they were unable to recognize and overcome the ...
The success of any team begins at the beginning with the leader......
When it comes to communication, the story is everything. Whether it’s selling, leading, managing, teaching or preaching, the power of story is the power of change....
You have the capability to improve your relationships, ramp up your ability to learn and increase the quality of your overall experience of life. ...
Letting go requires not only a major shift in thinking, but self-awareness and a challenging change of behavior....
I was first introduced to subconscious mind in early 1970 while attending a massive convention, featuring motivational speakers and platform notables like the great W. Clement Stone, Zig Zigler, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale and a host of other preachers of positive thinking....
Reinvention is a tricky word. What does it really mean? Do you throw everything away and start from the beginning? Do you remold what is already there? Do you create something totally different than before? Depending on the circumstances, the answer is "yes."...
Setting goals in general and creating the change necessary to achieve them is not easy. Yes, it is fairly simple to write a daily "to do" list and accomplish the majority of those small tasks. But, when it comes to achieving a breakthrough goal that can make a huge difference in your life, it's often a challenge....
Have you ever wondered why some people seem to say the right thing at the right time and get what they want while others fail at persuasion? The subject has always fascinated me. ...
Are you lucky? Do situations happen to you that seem to come 'out of nowhere' - events that enhance your life mentally, spiritually, emotionally or socially?...
Support means different things to different people. To some, "support" means giving their time, money or both to their favorite cause. To others, the word might be a call to support our troops......
Without a doubt, the most difficult thing to let go of in life is a relationship, even a toxic one....
Chip, chip, chip, chip. If you're not conscious and careful, this could well be the sound of your dreams slowly being ground away into obscurity. At least, that's the thought I had the other night....
I've been pondering the nature of time a lot lately because I have become very aware of how fast time seems to be speeding along....
Life can turn on a dime and you had better be prepared for it. Preparation is how you deal with uncertainty, and that is something over which you do have control....
“The dream begins with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the next plateau, sometimes poking you with a sharp stick called “truth.” -Dan Rather, American Journalist The term “teacher” appeared somewhere around the 14th Century and according......
“Life’s like a play, it’s not the length but the excellence of acting that matters.” -Seneca, Roman philosopher, mid 1st century AD I just had one of the all time greatest experiences and adventures of my life – with the additional gift of re-learning some......
“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five, I still had pimples.” -George Burns, Comedian If I asked you what you believe might have the greatest negative impact on your health, what would you answer? You might say it would be pollution, the Swine......
“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” -Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of the United States It’s quite comfortable to be wrapped in our little cocoon of routines that give us a sense of......
“To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying ‘Amen’ to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to keep your soul alive.” -Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish novelist and poet Are you being authentic? Perhaps a better question is: Are you living......
“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations”. -Charles R. Swindoll, American writer and clergyman There is a Chinese symbol that apparently can be interpreted as either crisis or opportunity. Specifically, the symbol represents both danger and opportunity......
“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” -Albert Schweitzer, physician, philosopher and Nobel Peace laureate How many......
“A sure way for one to lift himself up is by helping to lift someone else.” -Booker T. Washington, American educator and author Would you trade your spouse for a job? How about your children, relatives or friends? If the answer is “yes”, I give......
“By choosing your thoughts, and by selecting which emotional currents you will release and which you will reinforce, you determine the quality of your Light. You determine the effects that you will have upon others, and the nature of the experiences of your life.” ~......
“It’s fear of the unknown. The unknown is what it is. And to be frightened of it is what sends everybody scurrying around chasing dreams, illusion, wars, peace, love, hate, all that – it’s an illusion. Unknown is what it is. Accept that it’s unknown......
“In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends.” – John Churton Collins, 1848 -1908 English literary critic During tough economic times there are certain psychological commonalities that hold true – fear, cynicism, pessimism, self-doubt and life-style reversal. As in the past,......
“I see every thing I paint in the world, but everybody does not see alike. To the eyes of a miser a guinea is more beautiful than the sun, and a bag worn with the use of money as more beautiful proportions than a vine......
“An individual’s self-concept is the core of his personality. It affects every aspect of human behavior: the ability to learn, the capacity to grow and change. A strong, positive Self-image is the best possible preparation for success I life” – Dr. Joyce Brothers, American Psychologist......
“Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the state of being alive. If life is to be sustained, hope must remain, even where confidence is wounded, trust impaired.” -Erick H. Erickson I’ve recently noticed an odd, strange and unsettling wave......
“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; Mastering yourself is true power.” -Lao Tzu, Chinese Taoist Philosopher “Know Thyself.” The meaning of these two words are attributed to the Greek philosopher Socrates and inscribed in the forecourt of the......
“You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you” -Brian Tracy, best-selling author and business/motivational speaker. You are going to read......
“Few people have any next, they live from hand to mouth without a plan, and are always at the end of the line.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson, Poet While in college working on my Master’s Degree, my mentor and friend, Owen W. Smith, said to me,......
“If you don’t like something change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” -Maya Angelou, poet I decided to take a day and pump up my awareness by listening to how much people complain. Seven out of ten people I passed......
“We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.” -Martin Luther King, Jr. Disappointment is just plain…well…disappointing. Unfortunately it’s also a fact of life and there’s no escape because no matter how much we want it, life isn’t a bowl of cherries.......
“To be truly happy and contented, you must let go Of what it means to be happy or content.” -Confucius, Chinese philosopher, (551BC – 479 BC) Maybe musician Bobby McFerrin was right when he wrote “Don’t Worry. Be Happy.” Otherwise, he might have written, “Don’t......
“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.” Sophocles, Greek Dramatic (C. 497-406 B.C) What could be more appropriate for the month of February than to go on a short exploration of love and, perhaps make some......
“My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.” -Woody Allen, Actor, Screenwriter & Film Director Every once in a while I see a movie that feels like it was written solely for me. Such is the case with “The Bucket List,”......
“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.” -Denis Waitley, author My assistant called me with the news that I had just received an invitation to speak in Boston. That’s the good news......
“I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.” Maya Angelou, Poet What would happen if everyone stopped giving? What inspires people to give? What does “giving” mean to you? There are particular times of the year that prompt......
“Do not disturb your mind … with other hopes and fears than reason may suggest: if you are pleased with prognostics of good, you will be terrified likewise with tokens of evil, and your whole life will be a prey to superstition.” -Samuel Johnson, 18th......
“Public speaking is one of the best things I hate.” -Baseball great Yogi Berra You’re hyperventilating. You’re dripping perspiration. Your legs are wobbly and you have the distinct desire to flee. What’s going on here? Are you being pursued by a pack of rabid dogs?......
“It’s not enough to be busy, so are ants. The question is: What are we busy about?” – Henry David Thoreau, poet Let’s do an experiment. I want you, right now, to take a few minutes and look around you. Notice and focus on everything......
“Guilt is never a rational thing; It distorts all the faculties of the human mind, it perverts them, it leaves a man no longer in the free use of his reason, it puts him into confusion.” -Edmund Burke, British Statesman and philosopher Almost two decades......
“We need to get rid of the unrealistic and outdated notion that feelings determine what we do. They do not. When we are freed from that myth, we discover that unpleasant feelings are not simply troublesome, they are informative.” -David K. Reynolds, Ph.D. A Handbook......
“Imagination is everything. It is a preview of life’s coming attractions. -Albert Einstein, physicist What would be compelling enough to become one of the most popular ‘self-help’ DVDs to date, a #1 best-seller, plus prompt Oprah Winfrey to devote two shows to explore the subject?......
“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” -Douglas Adams, author, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Here’s fair warning: this article just might put your mind into overdrive. Joe and Betsy are on a canoeing trip in the wilderness. They come to......
“A leader is a dealer in hope.” -Napoleon Bonaparte, French leader and general Think of three people from the past or present whom you consider to be great leaders. Next, think of three characteristics that made them great leaders. Do this right now -before reading......
“Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.” – Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist Are you an addict? Would you know if you are? If you are, is it necessarily destructive? That depends on how you define......
“Every step you take should increase, not decrease, the breadth of your opportunities.” -Andy Tuck, singer, songwriter Two weeks ago I spoke to a group of people who have, basically, been forced into retirement. Some were ready; some were not. Some were relieved; some were......