Have You Squirreled Everything You Consider Valuable Waiting For The ‘Perfect Time’ To Use It?
Scarcity is also considered by some to encourage hoarding behavior. Researchers have found that when consumers are faced with perceived scarcity, they may become overwhelmed by the fear of needing an item and not having it. This can lead to unnecessary buying and hoarding of items that are already in short supply.
– Frost, Randy O.; Gross, Rachel C., “The hoarding of possessions”
I want you to take all your special China and protect it in a secured glass breakfront. You don’t want to take a chance that a guest might break it. If fact, you better save it for that incredibly special time. You can always brush off the dust when that time comes.
Next, make sure your extremely expensive bottle of wine or champagne is put away . You will uncork it at the perfect time for the perfect special occasion.
How about securing your best jewelry in your bank safe deposit box so no one steals it?
Also, make sure you preserve your best clothes for the perfect social event.
Don’t forget to protect the most expensive candles and lotions so you can use them when you feel you deserve it.
Please eliminate the previous 131 words.
I’m not serious. I was just being facetious, honestly.
Facetious: joking or jesting often inappropriately : waggish : meant to be humorous or funny : not serious.
So, please forgive me. I was just trying provoke you as to possibly having a scarcity mentality.
Are you still waiting for the perfect time that never comes? Discover how to start living with purpose today.
My loving, generous mother is the perfect example of living with a scarcity mentality. She learned some negative beliefs by living through the Great Depression. For her, it was simply impossible to use her ‘good’ stuff. Until the day she passed, her best China and crystal sat in a glass breakfront displayed like museum pieces.
I have a dim memory of my mom crying over breaking one of her beautiful glasses. It would not be her first tears spurred by ‘not having enough’.
Another result of having a poverty mentality: this is ‘hoarding’.
The scarcity mindset whispers: “If I use it up, there will never be enough.”
My wife is just the opposite. She often asks, “If we don’t use it for us and our guests and family, when will we enjoy it?”
The impulse to tuck away our most valuable possessions promotes a culture of consumption and keeps us from genuinely enjoying what we have.
Following is a principle that just might change your mind set about how you look at and hold on to physical objects.
It is called the Pareto Principle, also known as ‘The 80/20 Rule’.
By definition, the principle suggests that “80% of consequences come from 20% of causes.” While it was originally formulated by an Italian economist named Vilfredo Pareto who noted that 20% of people owned 80% of the land, its applications and nature quickly stretched far beyond economics.
As I was pondering what we humans may save for a special occasion, I came up with a list of six categories.
Sidebar: Before I list these six categories, I have a confession to make.
While in the middle of drafting this article, I couldn’t help but play my own ‘mental game’ of hoarding.
The first thing I did was look around at my work and create space.
I noticed, not counting my desk drawers, I have six mugs of pens, pencils, and markers, enough to outfit a small organization. Some of these are ‘special’ and I don’t want to use them up. Some have been in the mugs for months if not years.
My action step: I immediately sharpened my pencils and tested my pens. Over ten were dry. Into the trash they went.
Then, there are dozens of blank journals stacked away on my shelves.
My action step: I threw out over eight that had torn pages or were useless.
Then, there are at least three dozen books I plan to read.
My action step: I will donate at least ten which have been sitting on the shelf for a year!
I dare not even contemplate the boxes of photos and press clippings I have stored away. Or, the duplication of all sorts of tools (saws, hammers, screwdrivers, etc.) I will cull down.
Guilty, I am. Now, onward to you.
The following are the six major categories that research identifies what we often hoard and save for the right time.
1. CLOTHES
The 20-80 rule suggests that only about 20% of the clothing in a typical wardrobe is worn regularly, while the remaining 80% sits unused. This means most people only wear a small portion of their clothes, often repeating outfits or relying on a few staple pieces.
The downside is that weight changes, moths may run amok or, we plain forget.
SIDE NOTE: (My wife often shops in her closet.)
2. JEWELRY
Jewelry can be a common item that people hoard, particularly due to emotional attachment or perceived value. Keep in mind that hoarding disorder involves persistent difficulty discarding possessions, regardless of their value, and this can manifest in the accumulation of enormous quantities of jewelry.
3. ALCOHOL
Like clothing and jewelry, many hide away liquor.
Some people save good liquor for special occasions, leading to wastage if those occasions don’t come around or they don’t have time for it.
Some people might have a challenging time deciding when the perfect occasion is and often end up waiting too long, leading to spoilage.
4. GOOD CHINA AND SILVERWARE
Often, a significant percentage of china and silverware are reserved for holidays, formal dinners, and other unique events.
The result: A sizable portion of good china and silverware remains stored, unused, and waiting to be pulled out for special occasions.
Interesting: Research shows there is a curious shift in attitudes of Millennials and beyond that has led to some families not buying or inheriting fine china as they prioritize practicality and everyday items.
5. PERFUMES, LOTIONS, SOAPS, AND ALL EXPENSIVE SKINCARE PRODUCTS
I confess that I had never thought of this category. But, after questioning a few female clients, this turns out to be important.
However, all these lose their scent (quality) after a prolonged period of time.
6. CANDLES
Mary Gallager writes in ’Burn the pretty candles’. “We’ve all seen them. The carefully hoarded treasures that were saved for special occasions now lay strewn across a picnic table labeled “make offer” at a local yard or estate sale.
Some items have yellowed or tarnished over time. The candles have melted, and the china is outdated.”
Offbeat writer and reporter Annaliese Griffin states “The fear of “using up” good things, or a reluctance to consume or enjoy something, can stem from a few various sources, including a fear of losing something positive or a fear of imperfection. Some people might fear happiness and anxiety, where they dread the possibility of losing something good. Others might be afraid of the potential for wear and tear or the idea that something won’t be in its ‘mint condition’ forever.”
Given these categories and what I discovered personally, I’d like you to take a short quiz. A simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ will suffice.
Do you have clothes in your closet that you haven’t worn in a year or have their price tags on?
Do you have jewelry tucked away in a safety deposit box or hidden in a special drawer?
Do you have liquor that you have been saving for a special occasion?
Do you have china and silverware that you are saving for that special occasion?
Do you have candles that you are waiting for the right time to light?
Do you have ‘special’ perfume, soap or skincare products squirreled away?
I suspect you have answered ‘yes’ to at least one of these questions. If so, you know what to do.
Below are a few suggestions to get you started.
SIDE NOTE: Let me give you a commitment I made to myself long ago if I had lost something I considered valuable.
“If, in the future, I lose or break something, I will immediately replace it.”
I cannot express to you how much of a mental burden concerning physical possessions will be lifted.
Here are nine steps for a detailed approach to managing this fear
1. Identify the Root Cause
Understanding why fear exists is the first step. Consider whether the fear is related to specific past experiences, perfectionism, or a general fear of change.
2. Challenge Negative Thoughts of the Fear
As I often instruct my clients when dealing with limiting, negative thoughts. First, Identify the negative thought and immediately, say to yourself, “Isn’t That Interesting?” That immediately supports you to gain distance from the thought and make a more positive choice.
Only then can you replace the fear of “not enough” with thoughts of opportunity, abundance and sharing.
3. Visualize Success
Imagine yourself enjoying the “good things” and thriving in your life, even as you continue to experience new and positive things.
4. Own and Acknowledge the “Use It or Lose It” Mentality
For many, accepting the reality that things will be used and potentially worn out can help ease the pressure of keeping everything perfect.
5. Embrace Change
Embracing change holds true for every aspect of your life – mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. By embracing change, we open ourselves up to endless possibilities and new adventures.
When we let go of fear and resistance, we make room for new experiences that can enrich our lives.
6. Create New “Good Things”
Engage in activities including hobbies, reinventing yourself, connecting with loved ones and friends that bring you joy and create new positive memories.
7. Be Kind to Yourself
Be kind to yourself when you experience fear of loss. Acknowledge that it’s a natural human emotion and allow yourself to feel it without judgment.
8. Seek Support
This is extremely important. Talk to trusted friends and family members you trust with your fears and concerns.
9. Go through your house or apartment ‘right now’ and identify what you are saving for a ‘special occasion’
Parting thoughts:
“It’s later than you think.”
“You can’t take it with you. Remember, “It’s just ‘stuff’.”
“You are enough; you have enough.”
“What if that ‘special someday’ never comes?”
“Tomorrow is not guaranteed, and your life can change on a dime.”
Time passes so quickly you literally don’t notice it until it begins to show. Don’t wait to go on the trip, use the good china, eat the cake, watch the late movie or read your favorite book. Take a chance in life, the time is now! Remember, tomorrow is promised to no one.
“Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.”
-William Saroyan
IMAGINE THAT!
James Mapes is a keynote speaker, best-selling author, coach and hypnotist. His most recent book IMAGINE THAT! Igniting Your Brain for Creativity and Peak Performance is the first web-supported book with access to 21 video-coaching clips.
James Mapes is the founder of Quantum Leap Thinking™, creator of The Transformational Coach™, expert on the psychology of “applied imagination,” best-selling author, highly acclaimed business speaker, consultant, seminar leader and personal excellence coach.